Ask a Marriage Coach

(The Marriage Toolbox Toolman )

This is an opportunity to receive direction and guidance from the Marriage Toolbox marriage coach. You can count on Paul Michael to listen to you, to listen to what you're saying, what's in your heart, and then to respond with caring and meaningfulness. Paul's approach is based on this idea: All the wisdom and all the answers are within each person and that an insightful and skillful coach, in a context of caring, can trigger the wisdom and answers within the questioner.

Paul has written that "There are many advice givers (with a variety of professional designations and titles) that could not write (the above) words because they want to be known as an authority, an expert, one who knows for others and is 'right' ". The fact that what is right for someone is entirely in that person might makes some advice givers fearful that they have nothing to give or that their some of their education and skills did not train them for what they really need in coaching another person. The business of advice givers needs you to depend on them.

"I don't need that. I am not an expert for you and I don't really know what is right for you, or anyone for that matter. I just know that you have what you need inside of you. And that you are here reading these words right now because you either don't know you "know" or you don't know how to get to it. The latter being the reason why I am the coach for many: to assist you to find what your inner-knowing, to be perhaps, a catylst or a diving board for to jump off of. And I should say too, that it's not that you don't know now or that you don't often use your inner-knowing, it can just be as simple as you having a challenge finding it in one particular situation, like a sensitive issue in your marriage."

Here's how the process works with me:

1ST, YOUR PART
To begin the inner process for yourself beginning with developing a good bottom line question for me (see guidelines, below). To submit the question and make payment for the format you want. To hold a vision of self-trust in the process of you connecting with your inner-knowing regarding the answer.

2ND, MY PART
To hear you in my heart and then share, from my experience and knowing, my response (there could be a part in between for me if I am not clear on what you are saying. I may come back to you and ask you a question for clarification).

3RD, YOUR PART.
To continue with your inner-process and take my response and, perhaps, sit with it a bit, and then listen for what is true for you regarding it. You may get a confirmation of it very close to how I worded it. It may be different. Perhaps entirely different. The point is, the process has begun "within you" and you will get you what you need---what is for your best, your highest good. Your reaching out for this assistance will have paid off.

THREE STEPS FOR A BOTTOM LINE QUESTION:

1. Read this:

The clearer and simpler your question is, the better.. Developing your question is a fabulous process. It can go over a day or two. You could wake up in during the night and "get" another way of saying it that really is what you want to ask. Start the process by writing down the first question that comes to mind. Then read it a few times. You may have other thoughts about it.You may see that one word needs to be changed or perhaps delete it and write down a whole new question that comes to mind. If after a while you aren't sure if you have a bottom line question but don't know what else to do, it's okay, just write what you do have and send it to me. I will take it from there and if it's not clear to me, I will write you a question or request. Rest assured that your question will rise for you just like the sun rises.

2. Use this space to play with the wording for your question:

3. Now, open up and email to paul@marriagetools.com and then copy your question into the text. Put the following in the subject line: Ask a Marriage Coach -Question