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Right off the bat, we want you to know that we know that this isn't an easy time for you (understatement of the year, right?). We also know, that while your spouse may have done something incomprehensible unfair wrong to you, neither she/he, or you, is bad. At all!

"Wait a minute," you say, "are you kidding?"

No.

What I am saying is that what's
going on is no accident. That it has been no accident that your two souls have been drawn together for this. The universe is not punishing you even though it feels like it. I believe that the reality is that this is an opportunity for you and quite a powerful one, a golden one, at that.

"How could THIS be a golden opportunity?"

Consider this: That there is something very positive in this for you. Good. A blessing. And it is something that you have to look for and find in what happened. There is a lesson for you and this will be like finding a key that you've been looking for. It will unlock something for you. It will allow you to open a door and to walk through to more of what you want for yourself.

"WHAT THE @#@$#@ ??", you exclaim.


Listen closely.

Would you be willing to right now take a big deeeeep inhalation?

Slowly let the next breath in....b r e a t h e ...

Just

Know

That

Nothing

Is

Wrong or Bad

Here.

All is all right (but, again, it's understandable that you have uncomfortable feelings about it and it doesn't seem that it's good for you because of how it's disguised).

BUT don't believe this or me.
Read this drawer.
Take in the ideas.
Listen for what makes sense to you.
Pay attention to when something seems possible or right.
Ask yourself if it feels/seems interesting.
Is it something you have thought about but have not been open to or ready for, until now?

Take in another big breath and let it all go on exhale. Breathing deeply is very healing in and of itself.
And now, here's the Repairing Marriage-drawer.
Some cool ideas and tools. Perhaps some things will connect for you.


The marriage toolbox gives you great tools for repairing marriage like our expert counseling! (2k)
     
  ASK THE TOOLMAN
Every toolbox has a toolman and here's a toolman who sawed some interesting ideas for making repairs to your relationship (starting with the one you have with yourself).

FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE
For Better, For Worse, by Lynn Christine Holaday. Lynn says this so well you will probably want to read it a few times.

ABUSE
Where does it say that taking abuse is a spousal duty?


DID YOU MARRY THE WRONG PERSON?
Do you believe that you have nothing in common or that someone new would be better or that it would be easier to start over again? Read what four readers sent us that inspired this page.


WELL-MEANING INDIVIDUALS AND YOUR INNER VOICE
When another's kind intentions are wrong for you. From Ye Are Gods by Annalee Skarin, 1952.

SHE LOVES ME, SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME
Has your thinking ever gone in circles? This Loopdeeloo was written by a spouse right after an unexpected separation.

REPAIR TOOLS FOR YOU



REPAIR TOOLS FOR YOU TWO

CHALLENGE QUESTION:

If someone very wise was with you right now, the most wise you could imagine, and you could ask a question about yourself of this person and know that the answer would be just want you needed to know, what would your question be?


MORE FAVORITE QUOTES:

"A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers". Ruth Bell Graham

"Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner." Oscar Wilde

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness" Peter Ustinov

 
   
   

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