Right off the bat, we want you to know that we know that this isn't an easy time for you (understatement of the year, right?). We also know, that while your spouse may have done something incomprehensible unfair wrong to you, neither she/he, or you, is bad. At all!
"Wait a minute," you say, "are you kidding?"
What I am saying is that what's going on is no accident. That it has been no accident that your two souls have been drawn together for this. The universe is not punishing you even though it feels like it. I believe that the reality is that this is an opportunity for you and quite a powerful one, a golden one, at that.
"How could THIS be a golden opportunity?"
Consider this: That there is something very positive in this for you. Good. A blessing. And it is something that you have to look for and find in what happened. There is a lesson for you and this will be like finding a key that you've been looking for. It will unlock something for you. It will allow you to open a door and to walk through to more of what you want for yourself.
"WHAT THE @#@$#@ ??", you exclaim.
Would you be willing to right now take a big deeeeep inhalation?
Slowly let the next breath in....b r e a t h e ...
Wrong or Bad
All is all right (but, again, it's understandable that you have uncomfortable feelings about it and it doesn't seem that it's good for you because of how it's disguised).
BUT don't believe this or me.
Read this drawer.
Take in the ideas.
Listen for what makes sense to you.
Pay attention to when something seems possible or right.
Ask yourself if it feels/seems interesting.
Is it something you have thought about but have not been open to or ready for, until now?
Take in another big breath and let it all go on exhale. Breathing deeply is very healing in and of itself.
And now, here's the Repairing Marriage-drawer. Some cool ideas and tools. Perhaps some things will connect for you.