The Marriage Toolbox: Maintaining Marriage / Yesterwierds

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Yesterweirds

INTERESTING BUT NOT ALWAYS COMFORTABLE REMINDERS OF THE PAW PRINTS WE MADE ON THE WAY TO THIS DAY AND AGE.

A "Yesterweird" is something from the past that was thought of as "no problem", even good back then. Now though, it is considered biased, discriminatory, prejudicial, abusive, obnoxious, hideous or otherwise disrespectful.

EXCERPTS FROM A HIGH SCHOOL HOME ECONOMICS WORKBOOK, FORTY YEARS AGO

PREPARE YOURSELF. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

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PREPARE THE CHILDREN. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small.) Comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them play the part.

MINIMIZE ALL NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet and happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

SOME DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in his bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Have his newspaper ready, still neatly folded. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

LISTEN TO HIM. Let him talk first. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.

MAKE THE EVENING HIS.Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

REMEMBER THE GOAL. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Isn't it interesting to think of the paw prints we are making today that will be yesterwierds tomorrow?

Do you have a yesterwierd to share? Email us.

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