NINE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE HAVING A CHILD

• Honestly, am I ready to give give give give give give to another human being without getting anything back in return?
  
  
• Am I ready to work together with my spouse in co-parenting? Realistically speaking, would I be willing to put aside ego and self-righteousness in favor of a unified parenting team for our child? Can I be consistent in doing this?
  
  
• Am I willing to accept who my son or daughter is even if she/he is really different than me and different than I had expected or wanted in a child?
  
  
• Am I mature enough right now to be able to maintain basic loving to a child when I feel stressed, exhausted, hurt, down or when I don’t like him/her or am upset with him/her or rejected by him/her?
  
  
• Will be be able to provide the basics to this child?
  
  
• Have I been taking good care of the child inside of me--my inner-child? Do I understand that there is a relationship between how I take care of my inner- child and how I would take care of an outer child?
  
  
• Am I willing to do whatever it takes to learn and grow in any of the above areas for the sake of being the kind of parent my child would need me to be? Am I willing to read a books for ideas about parenting? If it would be useful, am I willing to see a therapist a few times for assistance in healing the relationship with my parents? Or take a class about parenting and talk to other parents about their experience?
  
  
• Do I realize the responsibility involved, and the honor it is, to be given a child to take care of, and to prepare, for his/her life? That being a parent is hands down the single greatest job opportunity in the whole world? That the future of the planet is affected by the choices that each and every parent makes?
  
  
• Do I realize that I don't have to know everything about, and be perfect in, being a parent? That I only have to have the willingness to be the best parent I can be--and be a continual student of parenting? Do I realize that the single most effective tool of parenting is loving? That I am a loving soul? And that to the extent I let my loving show to my child, his/her life will blossom just perfectly? That parenting from this approach is really not hard at all? That is is absolutely wonderful? The best?